A Battle

To those of you who read this blog, I hope today’s post will speak to you somehow; that you could relate to it and feel less alone or less discouraged.    This post is not about anything profound, just perspective of life with chronic illness.  It’s not a journal or a how-to.  Neither is it a solution.  It’s just a personal study of where I am in the  RSD marathon.  
For those who have read my last two posts, you know the current challenge is depression.  What, for me, used to be vent, re-focus and keep busy….suddenly became a fight that had me “down for the count”.  Because my depression came from the loss of meds I had been on and because I don’t do well with meds, in general, I don’t want to experiment with new ones.  Being tenacious, I would rather continue my attempts at re-acclimating myself to the former drugs; little by little, til I can again tolerate them…or maybe, God forbid, go without.  For now, I have learned that this is a battle, and I have discovered some weapons of warfare.  I listen to music more now, I watch funnier movies, I’ve re-connected with poetry, I now belong to a support group and I pray even more than before.  In addition to all that, I cut my hair and resumed wearing lipstick…lol.  These things, no matter how small or silly, are helping.  I may not be where I want to be but I’m moving forward and that’s what counts.  I know that some people have major depression that requires medicine and more, and my heart goes out to you.  But the point I’m making is that this IS a battle and we need to be armed.

Love,

Jane