#7 Last day of poetry

Glimpses Of Your Love

In the ravages of illness
In the sorrow and despair
I see glimpses of your love for me
And evidence of care
For despite the tribulation
You are always by my side
In the furnace of affliction
And the many tears I cry
Lord, your grace is so sufficient
Meeting needs of every kind
Paying bills without an income
Causing hearts to re-align
Forming something out of nothing
Making ordinary great
And producing such a witness
From a seeming hopeless fate
Lord, I marvel at your wonders
And your heart that loves me so
Lord, through blessing or through trial
May my praise forever flow
　
Copyright Mary Jane Gonzales 1-11-05

The 6th poem of the week

This poem is the stinging reality of life with RSD.  Tomorrow I will end the Week of Poetry on a more positive note but, for now, this is the story that needs to be told...this is the awareness that needs to be raised.



Rock Of Ages


Father, I am sinking
Would you throw to me a rope
Would you please confirm the scripture
That I'm never without hope
Would you strengthen me in spirit
As I trod this rocky road
Would you bear for me the burden
That is such a heavy load
Would you wipe away the tears
That keep falling from my eyes
Would you lovingly send mercy
When you hear my anguished cries
Would you not let pain consume me
Taking focus out of prayer
Would you be my Rock of Ages
Greater than my worldly care


Copyright Mary Jane Gonzales 11/96

5th Poem of the Week

MOVE UPON ME, LORD


Father God I pray that you would get me through this time
That your spirit move upon me Lord with laughter and with rhyme
That the ashes turn to beauty and the weeping turn to joy
That the world would see the blessings and the help that you employ
That your grace would be sufficient and your mercies new each day
That when undergoing trials you would teach me how to pray
You would teach me how to worship and commit to you each day
All the things that I hold onto Lord no matter what I say
That my eyes would not be blinded...that the scales would be removed
That you’d strengthen me in spirit and my heart would be renewed
　
Copyright Mary Jane Gonzales  5-12-99

 

4th Poem of the Week

SETBACKS

God I truly thank you
That it wasn't any worse
But I feel as if my body's been
Attacked by Satan's curse
Every day holds a new injury
Or a problem of some sort
When talking with my friends
I'm embarrassed to report
The ups and downs, the back and forth
The setbacks that occur
Frustration I experience
When healing is deferred
　
Copyright  Mary Jane Gonzales 1998

 

3rd Poem of the Week

STRENGTHENING MY FRAME

Father God I pray
that you would help me with my feet
That you'd get me safe to bed
and you'd grant me restful sleep
That you'd take away the swelling
and diminish all the pain
That you'd soon begin the process Lord
of strengthening my frame
That your grace would still continue
in a multitude of ways
And that you would soon incorporate
healing to my days
Lord I've had to lean upon you
in a state of total need
And while staying by your side
I desire to be freed
From the bondage of dependence
that is burdening my friends
To a relative remission
that on God alone depends
Lord it's not that I'm ungrateful
I see all that you have done
I'm just longing to go forward
that captivity be undone
　
Copyright  Mary Jane Gonzales 7-99
　
　 

2nd Poem of the Week

IT’S IMPORTANT

God it’s so important here that you be glorified
As you count all of the agonizing tears that I have cried
It’s important God to know I’ve not run the race in vain
As I wearily endured such a heavy load of pain
It’s important in this tunnel God to see light at the end
It’s important for the world to see that you’re my closest friend
It’s important that they know Lord despite my stinky flesh
You and I are in communion and with you I try to mesh
It’s important that my witness not relate to sin of man
But in greater part to you as they see your outstretched hand

Copyright Mary Jane Gonzales
 

A Week of Poetry

I thought I would share some poems that stem from RSD.  Though most of them end on a positive note, some of them begin with great despair.  So I will play it safe by starting with inspirational ones rather than dark ones.  (One a day for a week)


                                                                              IF TO YOU

                                                          God, my life may be simplistic

                                                            But there’s beauty all around

                                                          And I’m glad my eyes are open

                                                            To the joy that can be found

                                                              In the smallest little detail

                                                            Like the blooming of a plant

                                                       Or your grace that sends provision

                                                              For all the things I can’t

                                                                Or the therapy of pets

                                                        Through the love they freely give

                                                        And the comfort of your presence

                                                                No matter how we live

                                                           Whether busy, whether quiet

                                                            On the move or standing still

                                                      We can have peace and contentment

                                                              If to you we yield our will

     

                                                         

                                                           Copyright Mary Jane Gonzales

Encouragement

Although writing about RSD is easy because you live it and, therefore, know it…writing about it can also be hard in the sense of distinguishing between the difficulties and the blessings. What blessings , you ask! Many! Like perseverance/tenacity; that determination and fighting spirit that pushes you on, against all odds. You may be battling pain only, you may be battling pain and limitations, or you may reach an impasse, whereby, certain body parts that limited movement before, now prevent movement. Regardless of the place you’re at, it’s your body, not your mind, that is being diminished. You are still you, albeit functioning differently. Like the saying ”If Plan A doesn’t work, switch to Plan B.“ For me, doing that gives purpose; it keeps me from stagnating and it keeps me from sinking. So, without meaning to minimize the loss of our normal life, the passions and abilities we discover within our alternate life are the blessings to which I’m referring.
Those of us with RSD are in the fight of our life; trying to survive the pain and hold onto whatever abilities we have. I, for one, have learned that I took things for granted. I assumed I would always be able to walk or brush my hair, or…(fill in the blanks). And I have learned how to make lemonade…haha! A very important life lesson that sometimes involves “searching” for good, as opposed to “seeing” good. This takes daily practice, and it doesn’t mean someone is oblivious to their suffering. It means they choose to rise above it…and probably more for the sake of survival than for excellence.
Having persevered for 26 years with RSD, I try to encourage others with the disease but I need to encourage myself, as well, as I can‘t give what I don‘t have. I find my encouragement in the Word of God and in the person of Jesus Christ. I don’t say all this to preach to anyone. I say it to offer hope and encouragement to those who are hurting, that you would know there IS a strength greater than your own - just for the asking. There is hope for healing and the promise of sustenance. There is love unconditional and life eternal. Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.” Psalm 34:8
This was meant to edify, and I sincerely hope that it ministered to someone.
Blessings,
Jane