They don't "see us".

Although I didn't plan to post about RSD this month, I was just talking with a friend about the poem "A Crabby Old Man" (posted by Liz Hall). In the discussion with my friend, Shirley, she broke down in tears saying she couldn't continue reading Liz's observation that people don't really "see us"...admitting that she misses the old me and she mourns for both of us the busyness and vibrancy that was lost too soon and the plans of us enjoying old age together. My response was to try and console this loved one that although those things were in fact lost to me and I, too, mourn them, my consolation is that I now have an added dimension to my life. Though hard to explain or even grasp, I used the analogy that as a baby grows to adulthood and then to old age, things in adulthood are missed but old age is not without blessings. In old age, you may be lacking abilities, vigor and vibrancy but those things may be replaced with other signifficant qualities and activities. In my case, the "alternate life" holds crafting, writing and a drive to make a difference...and truth be told, the able-bodied Jane was responsible and fun-loving but not intent on making a difference in life. Now, however, it consumes me. My main purpose used to be raising a family and sharing the Gospel. Now there's an added dimension of ministering to hurting people and making a differene in the cause of RSD. Though I would not choose this lifestyle, I can't deny that I'm better for it.

The Christmas Season

I'm trying my best to make RSD
Be dormant this Christmas, or better yet flee
I'm trying my best to lay it aside
And focus on Jesus, my Saviour and Guide
The reason for joy in the depths of my soul
Despite being broken, He makes me feel whole
He makes me complete in the core of my being
As through Him, it's truth and love I am seeing



In this month of December, my time will be devoted to a Christmas blog, to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Please visit my other blog...A CHRISTMAS COLLECTION...and rejoice with me in the gift of His presence.


Poem Copyright Mary Jane Gonzales

RSD - A MYSTERY

There is so much about RSD that doesn't make sense to me. Of course that refers to the disease itself; the mis-firings, the frailty, the inadequate treatments and futility regarding a cure. But, on a personal note, my own current condition is baffling to me. I've read numerous times that the symptoms settle down at some point, and I have found that to be true. After 20+ years, the burning associated with older injuries has subsided...which is a tremendous relief. But it doesn't negate or reverse the disabilities resulting from those injuries...denoting, to me, relief - not remission.

And don't be mis-lead...the frailty is ever-present, subjecting me to new injuries.

Though one would assume the patient is now on "easy street" from the relief, that's not really true because,ironically, that's when the secondary symptoms occur. You know, the vision, the Vertigo, the unbelievable Acid Reflux, the trouble swallowing, etc. Who knew the level of pain or discomfort they could cause? I surely didn't.

Again, please don't be mislead. I am still grateful for the blessings and grace in my life but I was unprepared for this turn of events. Nor was I prepared for becoming bedbound, which happened a year ago this past week. By the grace of God, I can still function in this alternate life and seem to be busier than ever in this battle for my life and the crusade for awareness.
One could even say it's become an obsession for me.

As November comes to a close, let us not lose momentum in our drive and our efforts. Let the strength in numbers intensify our voice; that the world would hear and respond.

Thanksgiving 2011

As Thanksgiving approaches, I am thankful for the people in my life and the opportunities that God affords me. I am thankful for all the stories and all the stats and all the heightened advocacy in this month of RSD Awareness. I'm glad to have a sense of community and a hope that we're making a difference in this crusade.

May we all have a good Thanksgiving, a good support system and a genuine awareness of God's great love for us.

RSD Awareness Month - Message of Hope

With this being RSD Awareness Month, I would very much like to offer a message of hope to chronic pain sufferers through a homemade Christmas card. Anyone wishing to receive a card can send their address to mgonzales182@comcast.net Christmas is my favorite time of the year and I look forward to this but, due to finances, I can only send a card to 100 people.

RSD Awareness Month 2011

In November as always You see us come forth
Sharing our stories, Discussing our course
The toll of disease The public must hear
To expedite research Ensuring a cure
Of CRPS/RSD
And it’s dire effects upon you and me
Help us unite, God, in spreading the word
And strengthen our voices That we would be heard
Help us to educate Those who don’t know
And teach us endurance As we travel this road

Copyright Mary Jane Gonzales 2011

RSD Awareness Month

Well, here it is November 1st and the message I've been planning  to post was somehow  incomplete.  I've been planning it for  a week but there was something missing and I didn't know what.  I only knew I  couldn't post until it came to me.  What I did know I wanted to write about was a combination of emotions that Nomember holds for me.    First, I guess, is the stark reality and sorrow that comes with having RSD.  What more can I say?  Anyone with RSD knows that no further explanation is needed.  I know we're a long way from finding a cure but, on the brighter side, we've come along way; long enough to have LOTS of blogs, websites and research on RSD/CRPS...long enough to even have an "RSD Awareness Month".  For me, having had RSD for 26-27 years, having an awareness month is HUGE!  Also in the mix of emotions is gratitude.  In the spirit of Thanksgiving  (another November awareness day), I am thankful in this "alternate life" of pain and debilitation, for the ability to re-invent myself through God's grace and find contentment in Him.  Lastly, the part that I knew was missing and important enough to hold up the post came to me as I read today's e-mail from American Pain Foundation.  I truly don't mean to copy their message; rather, to personalize it.  Though we all have friends, chronic pain sufferers can lose a lot of friends from being too needy/burdensome or lack of understanding that equates to disbelief.  Thus, we have much appreciation for those who remain close to us.  And, yet, there are those who go above and beyond; giving and doing things that are beyond belief...the unsung heroes in our lives.  This thought really struck me when I read the e-mail from APF as I am so honored and blessed  by unsung heroes...and I pray that you are, too.

Though November holds more RSD emotions for me, I will save those for my visit with Joseph Aguilino on his BlogTalkRadio show The Positive Experience November 10th at 7 PM EST